


Frasier's Fault

by rikyl



Category: Parks and Recreation
Genre: F/M, Season 2, government shutdown hate sex basically, hardly anything to do with Frasier in case you were worried
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-12
Updated: 2011-05-12
Packaged: 2018-10-18 06:57:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10611624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rikyl/pseuds/rikyl
Summary: Leslie and Ben argue during the government shutdown, and things get ... heated.Originally written for the old NBC kink meme on LJ.





	

“Leslie! For the last time, there is no room in the budget for anything extra. I cannot make an exception for your department!”

Everybody else had dispersed pretty quickly after today’s meeting of the Emergency Budgetary Task Force, but Leslie stayed after to try to persuade Ben that he was wrong and robotic and a complete stupidface asshat.

Only … with more persuasive words than that.

“I’m not asking you to make an exception! For the last time—

“Oh, I _wish_ this was the last time—”

“Just look at the numbers again, and you’ll see—”

“The numbers don’t magically change if I look at them, Leslie, it doesn’t work like that!”

She was now chasing him down the hallway as they had this argument, and as they turned the corner into his office, they were practically yelling at each other.

“Well, you’re the expert. You’re the numbers robot, Ben. Why don’t you tell me—how does it work?”

“Yes! I’ll tell you. Let me help you understand this.” His voice was dripping with sarcasm, and he was leaning forward so that he was right up in her face, and he was waving his hands like he was trying to explain something to a very simple child. “See, there are numbers on this side that are called revenues. And there are numbers on this side that are called expenditures. And one of them has to be more than the other one! Wow. Can you guess which one?!”

_Could she—? Could she guess—?_ God, he was so infuriating!

Suddenly she wanted to rip off that hideous shirt, and pull at that overkill hair, and kiss his dumb little mouth just so he would _shut up_!

Before she could question the impulse, Leslie lunged forward and grabbed his obnoxious skinny tie and yanked him down toward her, and pressed her mouth roughly against his.

Ben let out a choking noise, and his whole body went rigid, and he definitely wasn’t kissing her back. Mortified, she pulled away and cracked her eyes open just enough to see him staring down at her, his own eyes wide with shock and fear.

Leslie dropped his tie and jumped back, flushing and trying to pull herself together and calm down and figure out what the hell just came over her. One moment they were yelling at each other, and Ben was being all condescending and sarcastic, and the next moment she was trying to jump him! Where had she seen that happen before?

Meanwhile, Ben was still staring at her as if she’d just grown an extra head, and … and …

“What was that?” he finally managed to choke out.

“That was … that was …” God, he looked like he’d just been assaulted. Had she just sexually harassed Ben? Was that illegal? It hadn’t looked illegal when it happened on Frasier … That was it! It was Frasier’s fault!

“I saw an episode of Frasier once where Frasier had this boss he really hated,” she scrambled to explain. “She was a woman, the new station manager, I can’t remember her name, but I think she wanted to make some budget cuts, and … and … he was arguing with her, and there was yelling, and it got really heated. And then they just started kissing and having sex! Obviously they didn’t show the sex, it was network TV, or at least it used to be on a network, it’s not anymore, but you can find it on cable—” 

Leslie could tell she was totally rambling and making the situation worse, but she couldn’t stop herself once she got started. And did she really just say the word _sex_ in front of Ben? That was almost worse than the fact that she’d just attempted to _have_ sex with Ben, and she raced ahead hoping he wouldn’t notice. Either of those things.

“I think there were a lot of people standing out in the hallway outside her office because Frasier was supposed to be talking to the boss lady on their behalf, and they were all out there waiting to see what happened. The door was closed. And … was Ros there? Yeah, I think Ros was there … Was Bulldog there? Um … ”

Crap, he was still looking at her like she was this insane person. Maybe he’d just forget what they were talking about, and why, by the time she got to the end of the episode? 

He didn’t look like he was going to let her get that far. “What are you talking about?” he demanded, raking his hand through that overkill hair and still looking a little bit traumatized.

“I watch a lot of late-night tv. Sometimes I can’t sleep … and we were arguing, and I thought … Obviously I misread the situation. And I’m gonna go. And we’re never going to mention this again, right? Good. Okay, thanks. Bye!”

She was almost through the door when he called out, “Wait! Just … hold on. Give me a second.” She turned around slowly, not really wanting to face him again. Ever. He had a really terrible face anyway.

“Um …” When she finally braved a peek, he was looking at her kind of nervously, or desperately, or something. “Ah … you know that … parks are my lowest priority.” 

They were back to this again somehow?

But something was lacking in his level of conviction, like he didn’t really mean what he was saying.

“What are you …?”

He took a tentative step toward her and continued with a little more force. “Your department is all the way at the bottom of the organizational chart. Every other department has precedence over yours.”

She took a step toward him, picking up the thread of their earlier argument. “So you’re saying …”

“It means you’ll get whatever’s available to you and whatever makes good financial sense, and you’ll just have to deal!”

Now he’d clearly worked up some of the rage from before, and something inside her snapped again.

“How dare you—!”

But he closed the distance and kissed her before she could even really start yelling at him again, and she was forced to redirect her fury at the vicinity of his mouth, his awful, wet, open mouth, and—damn, that actually felt more satisfying.

Without releasing the pressure of his lips against hers, he used one hand to slam the door shut behind them and pushed her up against it, grabbing her by the hips and pressing his whole body against hers, then moving his hands urgently over her body.

She started clawing frantically at his shirt, because she couldn’t get it off him fast enough, like if he’d just take off his ugly shirt, maybe he’d be less _stupid_ and _obnoxious_ and she’d be able to deal with his damned existence. And she could already feel his hardness against her thigh, and— _thank god_. This wasn’t just her. And also, it was large.

“Damn it!” he swore against her ear, fiddling in frustration with her belt buckle and the clasp on the top of her dress pants. “Why don’t you ever wear skirts?! I swear, I’ve _never_ seen your legs.”

“You want to see my legs?” she gasped in surprise. 

“Just to prove you’ve never had one to stand on,” he growled, finally working her pants down so that they dropped around her ankles.

“Oh, you—!” Fuck! He’d pushed his hand inside of her panties and was pressing his fingers against her clit, and it totally derailed her comeback. Damn him! But that felt good.

Then her panties were down somehow, and he was unzipping his pants—and why did he wear his pants so tight anyway? what a tightass—and oh my god, they were actually doing this.

Somehow, she still managed to pull her wits together long enough to sneer at him, “What’s this, Ben? You’re finally giving me something I want?” 

He answered that with a glare. “Don’t push your luck, Leslie,” and then he was pushing into her, all the way into her, and filling her up and pressing her against the door, and thank god she on the pill for her cycle because she did not want to stop him.

Which was maddening, because where did he get off, being so terrible and so fucking amazing and well-endowed at the same time? She bit her lip to keep from groaning, because she didn’t want him to know how much she was enjoying this, and she pushed her hands inside his undershirt to claw at him to make sure he wasn’t enjoying it too much either, but that only seemed to egg him on more. He somehow shifted her against him and pushed her legs further apart and thrust deeper inside her, hitting a spot she wasn’t sure she even knew about, and hitting it again and again and again—

Then she was clenching around him and starting to involuntarily cry out, too loud, because it was kind of shocking how intensely she was coming; she didn’t realize she could come that hard that fast. But he clamped a hand over her mouth, as if she was the one who was out of control, which was a total load of crap, considering the loud grunt he let out a moment later.

As soon as it was over, they pulled apart like they’d been burned, and avoided each other’s eyes while catching their breath and trying to remember how things like buttons worked. When she finally hazarded a glance, Ben still looked shaken and uncertain and a little traumatized, so that she almost felt herself soften toward him.

But then he ruined it by opening his mouth. “You satisfied?”

She glared at him in disbelief, hurrying to finish collecting herself so she could get out of here and away from him. “No! We’re having this same argument again tomorrow.”


End file.
